I Coulda Been A Contender

Last night in the mail was an announcement from my bank. By registering my check card at a special Web site, I get a chance to win the grand prize of $10,000 each time I use my check card.

Of course, I'm already behind because I received the mailing late. (Guess I shouldn't expect otherwise in the city known to have the worst postal service in the nation.) The contest started 5 days ago, and in the last 5 days I've used my check card for all the bills and groceries I can afford to pay and purchase until the end of the month.

However, one of the prizes is $5,000 for the essay that best conveys how $5,000 will help the writer have a great 2010. I was all ready to start my essay until I got to the critical part of the rules, which I read aloud to my husband. After submitting my essay, I have to get people to vote for it—rely on all my networks. The essay with the most votes wins.

My husband started shaking his head. We both knew our combined networks couldn't make me a winner.

Whatever happened to pure merit? To substance? To quality over quantity?

Oh, right. That involves real thought. And thought hasn't been necessary since we started issuing zero-tolerance policies. Thought is so last century.

[Art courtesy of Rodin.]