In Which Lill Reminds Managers of Their Humanity

This week my sister applied for a marketing position at an upscale food market. She spent a great deal of time customizing her cover letter and résumé because she was genuinely excited about the job. She WANTED the job. She NEEDED the job.

She hand-delivered her bid for the position to the manager of the market. And he personally accepted her envelope. It's unusual for managers and HR folk to meet candidates in person at this stage of the hiring process. So he gets points for showing his face.

But his face was hardly welcoming. Never cracking a smile, he warned my sister that he's received more than 100 applications already (a few more than the 6 the press tells us about) and he'd only be contacting the cream of the crop.

I'm sure what he said is true. And perhaps he meant well. But with a dour disposition, he dashed every hope my sister had for the job. He could have conveyed the same information with a smile and a caring tone in his voice.

Dear Managers and HR professionals,

Who made you the Royal Guard of the company? Who said you have to maintain a poker face and act like a bloody robot to protect the company? Who do you think IS the company?

It's the people, of which you are one.

Job candidates aren't the enemy; employees aren't the enemy. So why treat them as if they are?

Obviously you know what the job market is like. You're the one who has to sift through hundreds of résumés. Now imagine, for a moment, what it's like to be the person represented by said résumé. Imagine a person whose unemployment benefits have run out, a person who is relying on the kindness of friends for shelter, a person who still has financial obligations and no way to meet them.

Or forget the hard-luck scenario. Just see people as people. Your first goal is to Do No Harm, regardless of how you may feel.

Respectfully,
Lill

I can say this because it used to be my job to advise managers and HR folk on how to communicate and behave with employees and colleagues in the workplace. I can say this because I used to be a manager and I understand the difficulties of the role.

So I hereby decree that anyone involved in the hiring process of an organization take a deep breath and summon a little warmth into their "game face." It's not an indicator of the job candidate's chances. But it does make you a better ambassador for your organization. And a better member of society.

May Ye Never Be "Marginally Attached"

Years ago, business consultants created the buzzphrase "engaged workers" to describe the level of enthusiasm and loyalty employees had for their organizations' business and senior management. To be engaged was to be beyond motivated. An engaged worker understood the mission of a company and gave 110% to help the company accomplish it. And, of course, the consultants—for a price—could not only measure the engagement levels of employees but train them to become engaged. It was (still is) a handy piece of English for managers to flaunt during performance reviews, and when choosing whom to lay off next.

Now comes a new bit of buzz out of the U.S. Labor Department: "marginally attached" workers. Only they're not workers since they're not considered part of the workforce; they're not even really part of the unemployed ranks. They're the folks who have been unemployed and are giving up the search for a new job. The marginally attached include former workers who have chosen to return to school, have become a caregiver to a relative, and those who are too sick to search.

The good news is that the Labor Dept. is recognizing this trend. The bad news, of course, is that any one of us could end up adrift in the trend. This brings to mind a line from Ouida's A Village Commune: "Take hope from the heart of a man and you make him a beast of prey."

Let the "Recognition Cup" Runneth Over

Before The Lull, when I was advising managers on how to improve their (inappropriately named) "soft skills," one of the "must-dos" that couldn't be repeated often enough was Give recognition whenever you can.

This came to mind last week when a dear friend gave me an unsolicited and unexpected compliment. It was meaningful first because I believe she was being genuine. But second because I realized how long my Recognition Well had been dry.

Most of us crave recognition, whether we own up to it or not. We crave it at work, in our social circles, from our families. Not the 15-minutes-of-fame variety, either. We want the genuine article, sans shiny adjectives and dramatic adverbs. And I suspect I'm in good company when I say I received precious little recognition in the workplace. 

It's wearing. Without recognition, our perspective starts to shift; our self-esteem erodes.

I noticed a video on The Kindness Center Web site called Validation (scroll down the screen to see it). I haven't watched all of it yet, but the premise is spot on: A downtrodden fellow goes to pay for his parking and instead gets told how much he matters. Word spreads and pretty soon, folks are parking at the lot not to go shopping but to get "validated."

Corny? Maybe. But it points out two truths:

1. Validation/Recognition is necessary to well-being.

2. We need to give as good as (or, in this case, better than) we get. That is, how much recognition do you offer to others?

Make recognition a two-way exercise today. Whether you're giving or getting, I guarantee it will make you feel better.