Passing Time While Job-Hunting

I don't keep a journal. I've started lots of them, but never kept one going for more than a year. When I come across one of my partially filled diaries, it's a little unsettling to look back at a person I may or may not remember.

But as I get older, time really does seem to pass quickly. I feel that by recording it in some way, I may be able to impede its velocity. The unemployment office demands that I keep track of time with a log of job applications. But that's not terribly personal.

So I started keeping a record of what I'm reading and I've listed most of the books in the right margin of Lull. I'm a little embarrassed that the list isn't longer at this point, but there were a couple of months when I couldn't read. (Long story, personal crisis.)

“Time marks us while we are marking time.”

—Theodore Roethke, in Straw for the Fire

Anyway, I am not recommending these books to everyone who reads Lull. I don't like to recommend a book unless I know your reading preferences. I don't want to feel responsible for wasting your time if you don't like it. I take it as seriously as recommending someone for a job.

As I said in an earlier post, I'm just reading everything in my library before I decide what to sell or donate. The list includes horror and crime thrillers—two genres that are new to me. Two of the books were written by people I know (and I can report that I genuinely enjoyed both—doubly so because I knew the authors) and two books were given to me by family members. Most of the books are breezy reads. Only one has anything to do with job-hunting; none are about sports or Star Trek or Harry Potter or Middle Earth or political figures or serial killers. And I'm pretty sure none will be in the future. (If that disappoints you, I'm truly sorry and hope that there's something else on Lull that holds your attention.)

“The real secret of how to use time is to pack it as you would a portmanteau,

filling up the small spaces with small things.”

—Henry Haddow

 

I don't know what this book list will tell me in the future about this period of my life—except that I managed to reap some pleasure from a year of stress and  uncertainty.

Unemployment Time Zone

Without the rhythm of a daily work routine, it has become apparent just how much time and energy I had been spending on my job. I hadn't taken a vacation in seven years, and much of what little personal time I had was spent worrying about or doing something for someone else. Once free of my job, I had to decompress.  I started by reading.

Purchasing new books is an old vice for me. But my changed income requires a disciplined restraint and a modified reading approach. Now that I borrow from my local library branch, I'm on the clock, which takes a bit of pleasure away from the experience. Typically, I read several books at one time: classic or new fiction, essays, short stories, memoir, and nonfiction. If a library book is in the mix, though, I have to focus on it rather than reading round-robin. I'll adapt sooner or later. 

I know that I'll have to move; I just don't know when or where to. But in preparation, I've decided to radically reduce the contents of my library. If you've ever moved a box of books, you know why.  You can't pack too many books in a box or it will be too heavy to carry.  And when you have hundreds of books, you end up schlepping oodles of boxes up and  down stairs (we always end up on the top floor of buildings, no elevator). Or you pay someone else to do it. Move often and those books get pricier and pricier.  So before I choose what to part with, I'm making certain that I've read each and every one.

Over the years, I've started many a book only to find myself not in the right frame of mind to finish it. I've put such books aside with the intention of trying again later. Well, now is later.