137th Derby Follow-Up

My apologies to those who followed my grammar-based tip for the Derby. I read last night that Comma to the Top came in last. However, he also suffered an ankle injury for which he was flown to Colorado for surgery.

Comma to the Top wasn’t the only horse to finish the Run for the Roses in worse shape than when he started. Pants on Fire bled internally during the race due to some immune system problem and rather than heading on to the Preakness, will spend an undetermined amount of time recuperating at home.

ArchArchArch was bumped coming out of the gate, where his jockey believes his leg fractured, and then got bumped again further down the track. The poor creature ran the entire race on a fracture. He will never race again.

You know what? I take back my apology. If you’re a gambler, you do it at your own risk. All I ask is that you find something else to bet on besides animals.

There’s a great PETA ad that says it all. Obviously, dog fighting is a bloodier “sport” than dog racing, but the consequences—neglect and death—are the same for the dogs either way. The dogs have no choice in the matter. Nor do racehorses.

When gambling, stick to your own species.

[Pic of ArchArchArch by Harold Roth.]

WordGazing: Derby Tip for Grammarians

If you’re still looking for a pony to bet on in today’s Run for the Roses, put your money toward the only one with a connection to punctuation: Comma to the Top. It’s a Southern expression for apostrophe.


I read an uptight blogger’s rant about how ridiculous it is to use a four-word euphemism in place of apostrophe. I don’t know the etymology behind it, but it works—descriptively speaking. And if it helps some folks use a “comma to the top” properly (we already know how many folks can’t master the apostrophe), then what’s to complain about?

Stranger in a Strange Land – No. 4

This is part of an ongoing series regarding my transition from the Land of Lincoln to the Bluegrass State. For a list of previous articles in the series, type Stranger in a Strange Land into Lull’s search function on the right.

The storm drains here are big enough to swallow a jockey.

And speaking of jockeys, this horse-centric, caffeinated (for you’re never far from a drive-thru Starbucks), car-crazed town offers drive-thru betting. It’s a multitasker’s dream: Drink, Drive, & Gamble.